he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
