WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
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Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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