What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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