This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
