Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
