Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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