you would pick up someone in the library
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
