You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
They took my balls.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
