He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
