I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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