As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize