just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
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I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize