My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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