2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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