Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
