Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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