I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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