worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
