I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize