hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
