He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
