If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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