she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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