I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
