im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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