Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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