good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
