Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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