don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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