how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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