Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
