wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
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