Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So squirting runs in the family.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
