She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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