There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize