I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
