Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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