i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
