So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
