why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize