I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize