And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I think I sprained my soul last night
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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