So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
