I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
