Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
