FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
