i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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