So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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