i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So much rum. So many feels.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
