I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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