Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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