I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
