I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
