Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
