captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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