If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
