yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Randomize
