she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
please come you make the beer taste better
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
