I wish you could order shots online.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
